What motivates you more:
A) Someone telling you that you can’t…
B) Someone telling you that you can…
Most of us immediately would say a bit of both- and that’s fair.
But let’s be honest: the negative motivation often leads to demotivation. It infiltrates and petrifies our determined mind.
If we fail or even slightly falter those negative voices pair up with our own negativity to drown out every single positive reinforcement.
You are your own worst critic.
You don’t even realize what’s happening until it’s too late and you’re depressed half hanging off your bed dreading the day to come because you gave up… They won.
Personally if someone I hardly know scoffs and tells me I can’t do something then I scoff right back as if to say you just watch me!
However, if a loved one tells me I can’t do something- my confidence wavers.
If I do slip, if I do falter, if I don’t do something the way I wanted to or I don’t do something at all… their voice resonates inside me. All of my accomplishments shattered, I think to myself they
were right… I failed, I’m worthless…
Being supportive of your friends and family is truly important. I would never want to make someone feel the way others have made me feel. And I believe in my heart that if you’re determined enough then you will succeed.
Habits are hard to break, especially the negative ones. I’m still working on breaking the habit of being too critical of myself- it’s especially contradicting because I generally don’t care what others think, I’m unique , and I’ve never really had a true desire to be ‘normal’ or ‘accepted’ past the7th grade… I realized then that my place in this world is to perpetually stand out a bit brutish and odd.
With that said I want to note motivation regarding weight loss.
Good motivation is a work out buddy of course!
Having a supportive family and friend base.
Rewarding yourself for good behavior- i.e. You worked out for a whole week straight- take a day at the spa/go shopping.
Beating yourself up every time you slip up.
A negative person in your life constantly reminding you that they think so little of you (Weed this sucker out quick!)
Work, work, work and no play. (Do not overload your schedule, find some down time).
I want to indulge here with the bad.
I remember when I was younger being at a friend’s house while her parents were constantly bickering , although the conversation was muffled we both certainly heard the door slam… She then explained her mom got lap band surgery in order to lose weight; her dad was not too thrilled about this. Apparently he was very concerned that her new found weight loss would drive her into the arms of another man. My friend noted that during this whole process they’d been fighting and he’d been very negative often telling her that it won’t work and why bother etc etc etc.
I never really gave it much of a thought and moved past it until now.
My friend’s parents never fought. They were perfect for each other and usually very, very supportive. So why do you think her dad acted so harshly?
My theory is that fear and his own lack of self confidence.
He probably fought constant internal battles with himself about his capabilities to do certain things, like maybe lose weight himself (he was a big guy). He was probably mostly afraid that she’d leave because she didn’t actually love him and only had settled with him because she couldn’t find anyone else to accept her. (Again this is all a theory) There’s also a possibility that the fear took over because he personally thought she would never appeal to anyone else- he hoped she never would.
Instead of talking with her about these insecurities he lashed out- lashing out with negativities is not attractive. And it does not increase the desire of your loved one to want to be with you, it decreases it.
I haven’t spoken to this friend in years but I’m sure at the rate her father was going the likelihood of that marriage still being in tact is slim-to-none.
And honestly if you love someone enough you are ALWAYS concerned about losing them. They are the person you love, the most beautiful person in the world to you- and my guess is that he didn’t feel that way at all about her when she was heavier, he didn’t think she was perpetually gorgeous; so when she did start to get appealing to the masses that’s when he worried. That’s not love. Not at all…
My grandpa still gets jealous to this day, he loves my grandma so unconditionally. He’s always thought she was the most beautiful person in the world and he always will.
-Unconditional love and support with all your trials and tribulations is what’s best. No one should settle for less.